Remote Constellations--Strengths and Weaknesses

Here in English speaking North America, where individualism is strong and families are diluted by damage and "in-country migrations"--family constellation workshops can be hard to keep going. This wonderful healing modality, we know, is not growing here as it has elsewhere. Except in certain cutting edge geographic areas, baring our souls in group settings is not something we do easily here.

If Not Workshops, Then What?

So, as you know, I and other facilitators with viable business models here have learned to carry out and thus offer remote constellations. But when we look at this form, what sorts of strengths does it have and how do we take advantage of those? Where are the weaknesses, and how do we compensate for them?

Important Strengths and Weaknesses

In general, some important strengths involve:

• Convenience

• Privacy

• No fixed time limits

And the weaknesses? Two biggies are:

• Difficulty in sharing a setup of representatives,

• Diminished bodily presence

Let's glance at these one at a time

Convenient and Private

In most cases, for clients to do serious work in their own home setting is a big plus. No one faces the possible ordeal (these days) of travel either before or after the constellation. A profoundly affected client can cool out and assimilate immediately in their own "safe space." Or go for a favorite walk nearby.

The session can also be scheduled with this assimilation time in mind. "What days and time windows work best for you," we ask the client.

It goes without saying, also, that many issues or family secrets that might embarrass someone in a group setting emerge much more easily alone with a trusted, empathic, professionally competent facilitator. Especially since the constellation does not have to begin with that short, often first ever conversation that constitutes the group workshop intake interview.

No Fixed Time Limits

I typically allow and arrange for a 2 hour session for a single remote constellation. Sometimes it's done sooner, but rarely does it take longer. Doing that in a workshop is seriously harder. Flagging attention of the group, and physical tiredness of standing representatives push towards shorter workshop constellations.

As a facilitator, you also have less pressure on you to "perform" in front of a group. It's easier to stay longer the space of "not knowing" until some relevant and energized dynamic actually emerges. And easier also to say, rarely, but sometimes anyway--"I don't see the pattern here," or "We can see the blocking patterns, but they don't seem ready to shift at this point."

Difficulty Sharing a Single Setup Of Representatives

Finding the best way to handle this, depending upon your skills and the type of client you are working with--that's really a large part of learning to offer safe, successful remote constellations. When a private client is in the same physical space with you, you can arrange representing objects on a table top or the floor. You can both visit and feel into these and compare notes as it makes sense. In remote work, you cannot do this.

The point is, your work with the client is grounded in an objective, physical starting point. It's a pattern of representing objects visibly the same for both of you.

It's not that constellations cannot work without this, but rather that higher skill levels may be required to carry them out in its absence. This observation is based on several decades of learning with and then teaching shamanic practitioners, as well as constellation experience.

In my upcoming class, I teach a variety of approaches--almost all of which I use from time to time, along with what I call my baseline approach, that works best with most people most of the time with various technologies. Because many of my clients are not tech savvy and tech comfortable, I'm often doing voice only constellations. A good method for doing these is important, I think, because it's something you need to be able to fall back on.

New Computer Technologies for Screen Sharing Set-ups

There are also new technologies for sharing computer screen images becoming available, foremost of which at the moment is coachingspaces. It provides not only a video connection (like Skype), but also three dimensional movable figures seen and moved by either the facilitator or the client. That means you can both see each other, as well as a shared setup of reps. We look at this in the teleclass.

Diminished Bodily Presence

I've done very successful, fairly deep trauma recovery work via voice only that involved constellations and other techniques. It can be done. But it's hugely advantageous to be able to at least see a person's face and upper body via Zoom, etc. But even with these, the process can be seriously handicapped by not seeing the client's full body language, and further not sharing the energetic biofields that surround everyone's bodies.

This has meant that, at times, I have to advise a potential client to seek local help--as opposed to working with me.

Compensating for the Difficulties by Building on the Strengths

Part of my baseline method for remote work is to do it more slowly. I use the freedom from time limits to take more time, gather more information, and allow rapport and empathy to evolve. Since less non-verbal and visual information is available, this only makes sense. The "bandwidth" of the interaction is narrower, so it takes longer to get to the same safe and effective place.

I do a separate one-hour intake focused on:

• The goal

• Circumstances surrounding it

• The family and ancestral background of it

We let that sit for a few days to a week, during which guidance emerges on both my own and the client's side. Then we do the two-hour constellation. And a final part of this package is then a brief or longer (as needed) follow up meeting a couple of weeks later (or earlier if needed).